Pointing Fingers

“Here is the central lesson that ensures your brother is condemned eternally. ²For what you are has now become his sin. ³For this is no forgiveness possible. ⁴No longer does it matter what he does, for your accusing finger points to him, unwavering and deadly in its aim. ⁵It points to you as well, but this is kept still deeper in the mists below the face of innocence. ⁶And in these shrouded vaults are all his sins and yours preserved and kept in darkness, where they cannot be perceived as errors, which the light would surely show. ⁷You can be neither blamed for what you are, nor can you change the things it makes you do. ⁸Your brother then is symbol of your sins to you who are but silently, and yet with ceaseless urgency, condemning still your brother for the hated thing you are.” (ACIM, T-31.V.6:1-8)

Yikes and Yikes again!

If I believe I’m one with all creation—and especially my brothers—then my judgement and condemnation of others is a finger pointed at myself. If I am an awakening being who wants to follow the way of Jesus, He teaches that there is only Light in every single being. His life, as well as his teachings through A Course in Miracles, teaches forgiveness of ourselves and of one another on every single page.

Beloved

Lately, I’ve begun

Opening to the possibility that I am indeed Beloved

That What I DO doesn’t matter,

     Nor what I SAY,

            but that my state of MIND makes all difference in the world.

            That respect, love, and kindness

heals me, as well as all other beings.

. . . according to: A Course in Miracles

          

Meetcha there

These words are at the core of A Course in Miracles, “a unique spiritual self-study program designed to awaken us to the truth of our oneness with God and Love.” It answers my ongoing questions. My seemingly unending quest. Designed for restless, questioning Earthlings, Human “Beans,”–those Forever Searchers of the Divine like me.

Central to the Course’s non-dualistic teachings is the idea of our Oneness with Source and also with one another. It introduces a unique twist on the practice of Forgiveness. An approach that results in Inner Peace. Bit by bit. Day by day. Lifetime by lifetime.

The teachings are contained in text/workbook/manual form that is available for purchase through Foundation for Inner Peace. Though I stumbled into the Course about five years ago, my study has accelerated by joining an online study/support group on Zoom for a Course in Miracles.

As my study deepens, I will gradually the effect it has begun to have on my life.

Enough for now.

I’m a HOUSE

Like a HOUSE. . .

I’m either Letting in,

opening up, or considering.

or . . .

I’m shutting down,

closing off, and refusing.

Today —

my window is slightly ajar.

Rumi puts it this way:

The Guesthouse 

(Translated by Coleman Barks)

“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”

Joy

What a consolation that, ” I could see JOY/Peace instead of this.” Lesson 34 ACIM

It’s my choice what I see. Looking beyond appearances at what the Christ would see, I can see Joy, Peace, and Forgiveness. Yes, my ego’s eyes see usually see otherwise, but I am learning to ask Spirit’s help in seeing the essence of myself, others, and the entire world in the light of Christ. Makes an eternity and many lifetime’s viewpoint more loving and gentle.

“I could see Joy instead of this.”

Your Tired Eyes

from my notebook-April 2021

“To your tired eyes I bring a vision of a different world, so new and clean and fresh you will forget the pain and sorrow that you saw before. ⁵Yet this a vision is which you must share with everyone you see, for otherwise you will behold it not. ⁶To give this gift is how to make it yours. ⁷And God ordained, in loving kindness, that it be for you.” (ACIM, T-31.VIII.8:4-7)

“You are still worn and tired, and the desert’s dust still seems to cloud your eyes and keep you sightless. (ACIM, T-18.VIII.13:2)

I am indeed world-weary and tired indeed of not seeing. Of projecting, judging, and reincarnating over hundreds of lifetimes.

Over the past six months, I have given myself over to daily study of A Course in Miracles in order to see differently. With vision. Through the eyes of Spirit. It’s the beginning of envisioning myself and everyone else as we really are in Spirit. Equal and divine. Together. One with God. A huge endeavor, but not without hope–or help. The reason for Spirit.

Difficult to share these new and emerging understandings of mine outside the context of the Course. I’ve been delving into this for the past three years, but only after studying with my online study group have I begun to understand and find increasing glimpses of Inner Peace–the goal of the Course.

Halleluiah!

this moment

this lifetime

a culmination of thousands

a dream trip through the maze

a sleepwalk through the chaotic workings of mind

   an endless stream of remembering

and forgetting

       remembering

forgetting

            remembering.

Having long ago tossed out Church

I absorb other

bits, pieces, escapes

Momentary sparks of hope

during the familiar slogs through aloneness-es.

Then an occasional encounter with divinity.

an opening

softening

 and       

       and finally,

the EMBRACE

My Padded Cell

My Padded Cell

Today’s lesson compares my choice of living with the ego to living in a stark, white, padded cell. The door opposite me represents my freedom from what I have finally come to admit is my chaotic, miserable life. The problem is, I think I can find a way out by myself. But when I look around, I am surrounded by images of other people (my brothers), each offering me a key to the door. However, I refuse and persist in thinking I can power my way through and escape into “the heaven beyond” by myself.

The Course in Miracles does not appeal to everyone. It resonates with those who have lived long enough and/or tried enough other spiritual paths, but still feels empty. I am among those who have reached the “end of their rope,” and in one way or another admit to themselves:

I give up. There has to be a better way.”

Having spent nineteen years in a convent, then delved into a variety of other ancient and new age spiritual traditions—each offering me a temporary–I have finally found the Course. I recognize I’m inside, my cell facing the locked door that offers an escape ito a sweet haven of peace on the other side. Not heaven, as per traditional Christianity, but a true and lasting peace of mind–an escape from this nightmarish dream of life.

The Course teaches that this life is a dream and that there is an escape:  Forgiveness. Accepting the key presented by each my brothers is the “key: to exiting the door together. This represents a whole new, non-traditional kind of forgiveness, which I am slowly beginning to learn. A whole new kind of door-opening that frees me from my solitary confinement and stills my being at its core.

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Blogging the Course

The Spiritual Journey of a former Nun

February 11, 2021

Today’s lesson – 41 God is my strength. Vision is His gift.

In the quiet space within, this morning I realized I’ve been trying to slog through the Course by myself. No small feat for a heavy-duty book with about 1300 pages. Mucking through a lesson a day and attempting to remember it has been challenging. Often without a noticeable result–a disappoiintment to the ego.

You’re doing better than the next guy and beginning to make sense of it—a huge step for a Course student. Where’s that feeling of peace that’s promised?

That’s because I’m still trying to do it on my own, and failing to let Spirit do the work.

Un-doing.

Letting go.

Forgiving . . . is what it’s all about.

“Forgiveness is still and does nothing It merely sits and waits and judges not.”

Being passive and sitting back is not as easy as it might seem. My life is about taking on responsibility for myself and pushing through, even though I thought I was trusting Spirit.

Today’s lesson–God is my strength. Vision is His gift—invites me to go into my mind –into the Stillness–for five minutes. To let go, back out of the outside world, and delve into the inner realm of the Mind— of God.  I tiptoe in and am drawn into its Vastness. Nothingness. The Void. Into Spirit.

Hesitant and slightly intimidated, I often back out.

The Course teaches that we are more afraid of finding God than we are of not finding Him. Hard to believe.

The nothingness, peace, and vastness beckons. The momentaty taste is enough and reminds me I can return any time. The stillness waits for me.

To return, I must let go. Be willing to take the plunge into the darkness, which I remember is merely God-disguised-as-Void.

God’s strength is not forceful, but overwhelmingly encouraging and gentle. It is sunshine beckoning the flower bud. An Invitation to Open, Soften, and Embrace the Divine.

As I do, my sight is replaced by Vision, wherein I behold all creation as He does—with Love.

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