The buds have begun to form on the bush beside our deck
And I render them in soft lavenders and blues,
as I would like to transform my often harsh, cold thoughts.
Though I work hard at allowing the budding of Divinity within my own stark human self, I forget. I fall back into a habitual, 3-dimensional view of the world. A simple change of focus from worry to gratitude liberates me from this self-imposed prison.
For too many years in habit and veil and from behind convent walls, my individuality was squeezed right out of me. I believed myself unworthy.
I continue learning how to open and soften to my own sweet and very deserving self
in spite of being expected to do otherwise.
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I sometimes find myself forgetting to go to God with my worries so they end up making me worrisome and ill, literally. Once I do include him I feel better.
Oh thank you, dear friend. We need frequent reminders of our own basic worthiness and goodness.
Your narrative is so informative. We out here who are unaware of convent life are certain to be educated. Very good, Orice. I am looking forward to reading it all.
Thanks, Mary Ann. That’s what I’m hoping to do–shed a little light regarding life in the convent in the “olden” days.