Falling

The rain has arrived and so has fall. Along with the leaves,  I’m falling ever so gradually into a new and unfamiliar lifestyle. Living alone. Bit by bit, I’m falling out of loneliness and into being okay by myself. My two cats keep me company and my home is small enough that I don’t feel lost.

Many years ago, I joined a communal life after having lived in a large family with seven other siblings. Then I  lived shoulder-to-shoulder and elbow-to-elbow within a community of nuns for nineteen years. After that, I continued to live with others–in and out of relationships–until now. I only lived alone for a brief time in between two of my relationships.

So it doesn’t feel right.

Friends tell me I should enjoy it, but I don’t.

Of course, being with someone doesn’t mean I was never lonely. I mostly felt alone in the convent, even though surrounded by others. I go into detail about this in my book. Which I’m still presenting to potential publishers. Eventually. By then, maybe I’ll be happy living by myself.

Until then, I continue to sometimes stumble

and fall.

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1 Comment

  1. It is okay to sometimes feel lonely. Even those in relationships will experience that. I found that if I fill my time with a variety of activities I feel less lonely. I will go out for walks or to visit a place and take photographs. I enjoy editing them and that fills my time. Then making cards from the photos fills time and keeps me busy so that it passes. Working on needlepoint is wonderful and fills the time, as well as writing or reading or watching a movie.
    Hobbies are great to fill time, the mind and the day!

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