Where’s It Gone?

Where’s it gone?  My self-esteem. Don’t know if it’s because I spent so many years in the habit, humbling myself or if it’s simply because I’m human, but my sense of self-worth fluctuates downward a bit too often. I recently called a halt to my floundering three-year relationship with my significant other and I’ve been scraping bottom more than usual since. Funny thing how I measure my worth through someone else’s eyes–that someone who has rejected me.

Though I tap, use affirmations, read uplifting messages, and meditate daily, I spiral downhill. I rely on the steady encouragement of close friends, and yet still struggle. The face in the mirror looks back at me with sadness, even though I smile. “Oh well”, as Mom used to say “This too shall pass”.

I can only hope.

Today’s thought from the Sedona Journal of Enlightenment provides me with hope:  “Bring your hands to your heart and feel within every cell of your body, ‘I am divine love.’ Can you feel that? Allow every cell in your body to recognize this. From this divine, compassionate action of receiving you already comprehend and trust the gift of you. You are divine love. You are divine. You have always been and will always be.”

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4 Comments

  1. The end of something always leaves us a bit hesitant to begin anew. It does not matter what ends as it leaves unfulfilled feelings. Taking first steps into another direction is a bit overwhelming. You step hesitantly to avoid trip falls , and seek the well lit path. New trails are scary as you never know what lies around the corner or what is hidden behind rocks or trees. You just have to walk in faith.

  2. My mother sends me the Daily Word magazine of prayers for each day of the month. I wanted to share today’s with you:
    I MOVE FORWARD INTO GREATER GOOD. When we stand at the end of one life experience-the conclusion of a job or relationship, moving away from home, graduating from school, or retiring from a career-we remember that every ending is also a beginning. Saying goodbye to what has been, we welcome what will be. We may be tempted to keep looking back, but once we turn our eyes to the path ahead, we find new opportunities awaiting us. We are beginning a new phase of life, a new way of fulfilling our purpose, a new way of serving God and the world, In truth, we don’t leave anything behind; we carry it with us. As we bless our past, we build on all we have learned and continue on our life’s unfolding journey.
    “Forgetting what lies behind…I press on toward the goal. Philippians 3:13-14
    To subscribe to the Daily Word call 1-800-669-0282 or visit dailyword.com

    I hope this inspires you as it did me!

  3. Orice, if you had diabetes, would you take insulin? If you had high cholesterol, would you change your diet and take medication to get back to normal? Sometimes, the body chemistry that keeps us feeling positive and valuable in our own eyes goes awry. You might want talk to a medic about getting that body chemistry re-balanced. You are a warm, sensitive, competent woman, and you have no reason to feel low self-esteem. You are totally lovable!

  4. A couple of times a year, I lose my self-esteem. I think it goes where lost socks hide. It always bewilders me and it stumps me that it’s usually over something that I logically know shouldn’t be upsetting but I’m left scratching my head and wanting to pull the sheets over my head. As you’ve already noted: This too shall pass. You have a God who thinks you’re awesome just the way he made you. Hold onto that hand, and even if you don’t, don’t sweat it. It’s really Him who is holding you.

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