It’s seems a lifetime ago since I was “in the habit,” but I sometimes find myself yearning for pieces of that former convent life. As the season slips into darkness this time of year, my craving for solitude increases. With someone of my own to love now, I feel more comfortable being who I am. One who appreciates being alone and without as much noise. I even enjoy Silence.
As a fifteen year old, I dreaded the hours we spent in Silence, but I’ve long since said all that I needed to say. Now I take daily slices of time to withdraw and hibernate like the Bear. I let everything and everyone fall away.
Being a nun provided more than sufficient alone time that I wasn’t at all ready for. I look back and appreciate those rules now. A quiet corner on the sofa every morning is all I need. A time and place for the emptying out and coming to peace with. It feels familiar. Like an “old habit” that I now choose to enjoy.