“In order to feel compassion for other people, we have to feel compassion for ourselves. In particular to care about people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean, you name it—to have compassion and to care for these people means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves.”
Pema Chodron
Self-compassion is not self-pity. Rather, it more fully enables one to embrace the suffering of all beings as one’s own. Acknowledging and gently accepting our own misery and unhappiness—without running from it—begins to open us. Un-cage the soul. Melt our protective shield.
It has helped me begin to view differently what I have mistakenly regarded as happening to others or to anyone outside myself.
Buddhism encourages the acceptance of one’s own pain and ugliness along with being understanding and forgiving of others. To realize that others are merely an extension of ourselves. Mirrors. Opportunities to soften our own hearts rather than harshly blame, project, and judge. How we view others is how we view our own pain. A heart-led alternative to care for, care about, and embrace.
Having temporarily tasted my share of spiritual awakenings—the temporary ah-ha’s; the brief glimpses of otherworldly light; the brief steps beyond the door to alternative realms, I sometimes wonder then, why again and again I become stuck.
In my own conditioned mind.
My patterned way of thinking.
My rusted thoughts.
Easy Judgments–about what’s good or bad about me, others, the world.
Time to overcome these Oh-Lord-I am-not-worthies etched too deeply within my Catholic brain. Time to open my ears and heart and lovingly embrace this wonderfully human, yet totally divine Being called me.
Compassion begins with me. It’s that simple–it’s what the road to enlightenment is all about
Beautiful. I can especially relate to the “oh Lord I am not worthies” phrase. That self-compassion is where I’ve come around to, after years of being compassionate with everyone else. But me. Thank you.
What a thoughtful way of looking at life and experience. Sometimes I look at my old body and feel compassion for all that it has suffered, often as a direct result of personal actions. Recognizing such things in ourselves can and should awaken compassion for our fellow human beings, and yes the creatures who are our companions, seen or unseen. Are we not all on the same journey?
We are always our own worst critics. It is not so easy to be accepting of ones self.
So good that we can reach the point of self-compassion. Thank you for sharing too.