Sometimes

jan 9th

sometimes I lose track of me…

forget

stare blankly into and see the emptiness looking back

Emptiness unto Emptiness

Nothingness beholding herself

 

The Void

 

A stillness takes me over and worry slides away

as I embrace the somewhere else

the vastness

the expansion

the connection

 

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Emerging

xmas eve 2015

There’s no doubt I’ve been held captive in my uncreative mind since the launching of my book. During the bringing-in-of-the-light part of our Solstice ritual the other night, I decided to beg the Goddesses to free me. I decided to use the lighting of my daily morning candle to symbolize the refiring of my creativity. After doing so this morning, I dug out my drawing tablet and doodled through the darkness, feeling much lighter when I finished. Maybe there’s hope. My Inner Sketcher might help me bypass the Critic.

Barbara Hand Clow’s Alchemy of Nine Dimensions has also contribured to my reemergence. Chapter by chapter, she introduces the dimension by means of a meditation. Today’s spirit journey took me into the Ninth Dimension. I traveled through the Black Hole in the center of the Milky Way by closing my eyes and pulling all my thoughts, feelings, past and future experiences toward my center like a magnet. These were energetically drawn like metal filings to the core of my being. The process took a while, but eventually I arrived at a place where there was nothing more to attract.

Nothing but silence.

After resting in the void for an eternity of moments, I expanded my consciousness outside the room and into the vastness of stars, all the way to the center of our Galaxy.

Utter stillness.

When I returned to my room, I felt as if I were emerging from the Black Hole of my own emptiness into Connection.

To myself.

at the Center

of All That Is.

The Void

unnamed (2)Crow signifies the Void, which is where I am lately. Waiting for word from a publisher. Waiting to see what’s around the corner. I have come to a crossroads and don’t really know where I’m headed. This being “lost-ness” comes and goes. The path is not as red or obvious as it seems in the photo, and even if it were, Crow stays put. She looks as lost as I am. Waiting a signal for WHAT’S NEXT.