Momentary Enlightenment

Image result for black and white ant image

Today, I practice ACIM Lesson 124: Let me remember I am one with God.

As I close my eyes and attempt to concentrate on my oneness with the Divine during the recommended half hour meditation, my mind itches like a pocketful of ants.

Ego pesters, asking why I’m not “enlightened” by now. I’m long overdue for at least one small, tingling moment–a flash of light–a temporary out-of-body dangling, that would finally prove I’m making progress.

Somehow another Voice breaks through and assures me I’m already there—wherever it is I think I need be. Says I’m  already One-With.

Do the many shining moments (holy instants?) over my lifetime, wherein I feel slightly Cherished and On Board for  a Quick Glimpse of the Eternal, count for nothing? Perhaps I am on track.

Ants and all.




Grinning Orice

I’ve been studying A Course in Miracles (ACIM) for a few months now and now and have ventured out of my tightly woven and resistant  mind to accept that perhaps I’ve been walking with Spirit all along.

Years ago, I noticed a gentle Voice that sometimes whispers to me from the back of my mind. Although that’s not always the case. Once it startled me by shouting at me to SLOW DOWN. I’d been driving through the night, and automatically argued there was no reason to cut my speed. After all, there were no other cars on the road and I was going the speed limit.

Again it shouted SLOW DOWN. I reluctantly took my foot off the gas and coasted to a crawl. Barely in time to avoid a fallen tree directly ahead. Shaken, I pulled to the side of the road and took a deep breath, grateful that I had been spared.

The Voice remains respectfully soft and in the background. Seemingly absent for long periods of time. When it speaks, it sounds like me, which tempts me to disbelieve.

It is the voice of A Divine Me. The gentle One I deliberately call upon. I hold on to my doubts though, and wonder how I could deserve individual attention from the Divine. This one, piddly human among billions. I often resist and consider myself unworthy.

This is where the Course in Miracles (ACIM) kicks in. Without going into it now,

I think I can make it from here.

Me, Myself, and Ego

Powder puff self

“When you say “I”, it is ego speaking, not you. . .  It consists of thought and emotion, of a bundle of memories you identify with as “me and my story”. . .               

Eckhart Tolle









Only recently have I become more aware, conscious of, or awakened to the fact that this tortuous, non-stop, self-absorbed voice in my head belongs to Ego. I’ve known for years, and am one of a multitude of Seekers striving to free myself from it’s dominance. Eckhart Tolle’s book is one of many that refer to ego in a way that I can relate. Ego, however, is so deeply entrenched in the unconscious that it continues to dominate my mind without much of a hitch.

The wisdom of countless books, wise teachers, both contemporary and long gone, have referred to ego’s existence, pointing the way slowly and inevitably in the direction of awakening. After each pointer, however I linger in truth for a while, then revert to my unconscious ways again.

That my body is impermanent, I accept. That the earth with its goods and possessions is passing is a given. Otherwise, I would not have so tried to leave everything behind and become a nun.

Ditching the ego will continue to be a monumental challenge. However, through my recent discovery of  A Course in Miracles, I have begun to recognize dear ego more clearly.  My second round of Eckhart’s A New Earth has also helped, tipping me more frequently toward the ability to distinguish between the voice of ego and the voice of higher wisdom. A much appreciated relief!




“To recognize one’s own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence.” Eckhart Tolle

Having recently discovered that Eckhart Tolle not only knows about, but also speaks highly of A Course in Miracles, I am going through A New Earth again.

With fresh eyes.

It is my hope that perhaps even during this lifetime I will awaken.

I’ve always had an ongoing and insatiable thirst for truth—for who and what and where.

For God.

For the who and what and where that I am in relationship to this ever-present, unimaginable, and seemingly illusive Source/Deity. It continues to be a long, interesting, and multi-faceted journey, dotted with surprising rewards and many seeming dead ends.

Ultimately, however, I believe that. . .

  • Every detail of my life has been a step toward, as well as an answer to, my lifelong search for the who and why and how.
  • Each person and happenstance has been an intervention of the Divine to point my way out of insanity’s grip, and toward the finding.
  • I am irrevocably joined with every other being–no matter how disgusting, horrific, or insane I perceive them to be
  • Everyone/thing is a projection of me.
  • We are One.
  • Until I learn to recognize, forgive, and embrace others (especially those most disgusting ), I will not recognize, forgive, or embrace myself. In all my un-gloriousness, yet basic godliness.
  • Not recognizing, forgiving, loving, and embracing is insanity–the continuance of madness–the very perpetuation of alienation/evil, horror, lack of love and forgiveness that I am trying to escape.
  • I will to reawaken more frequently–to the fact that we are–all of us–God.


Election, Donald Trump and My Audacity to Dream Bigger


Written by Mashur Anam /shared with permission

Sometimes change comes like the gentle transition from morning to night. Sometimes it comes in the form of a volcanic eruption. In the first case, there is a gentle, constant and gradual flow, which makes the transition smoother. In the case of a volcanic eruption, lava has to build up under the surface and when the pressure reaches a certain point, the volcano erupts.

For many decades, emotional charges have been building up for people all over the world as very little change has occurred within systems, governments, corporations and how things are run. Now we are seeing the volcanic eruptions happen where many would say that, against all odds, Donald Trump managed to win the U.S. Presidency.

I recently explained how the energy building up to the 2016 Election actually favored Donald Trump over Secretary Clinton. You can read that post here if you haven’t already.

I have also seen many people going into immediate fear over race, religion, immigration, Supreme Court appointments, the environment, the right to choose and many other policies. Many fear-based questions have also come to me from different parts of the world.

We all have the power to design our own reality. When we operate from fear, we create a vibrational resonance with all the things that we would like to avoid and run away from.


A Different Point of View – What Can YOU Do Now?

I know that some people are thrilled, but the majority of the people around the planet, especially in the field of consciousness, are devastated when they look at the U.S. Election results. People all over the world are concerned about the environment, the refugee situation and about racism and religious disharmony among other important topics.

Many spiritual teachers, such as Deepak Chopra, publicly mentioned that Donald Trump operates from the Root Chakra, which is more about power and survival. True, however, there is another side to it.

When people are in alignment with the Cosmic or Divine flow of energy, the Root Chakra will help to build, restore and reform. When people are not in alignment, the ego or personality will use that energy to wage wars and will bring in anger, judgment and destruction.


Do you know that at his Soul-level, Donald Trump is a builder?

What if people stop sending vibrations of anger, judgment and hatred (which create more separation) and instead, begin to focus on connecting with the builder that resides deep inside him? What if we all send in healing and loving energy so that the ego aligns with his Soul consciousness?


My Audacity to Dream Bigger

I would like to have the audacity to dream bigger to connect with that part of Donald Trump and help him build and rebuild in unconventional ways to help the world. Do you personally think that is too much to ask for? Are you willing to help or create more resistance?

  • What if collectively we empower him to be surrounded by those with a vision and action plan to move the country and humanity forward?
  • What if we can help him to align with the soul-builder in him to reform systems, create new structures and help the environment?
  • What if the power of will and alignment can be used to bring people and faiths together to focus on building global harmony instead of waging wars, creating separation and igniting anger?
  • How about constantly sending the new administration our highest vision of harmony, peace, love and collaboration?

Is This Possible?

You can resist and react by thinking “none of this is possible”. However, that soul-builder inside Donald Trump needs help, support and guidance to be heard by the personality and ego. Together, can we empower that part of him so that his higher consciousness becomes more powerful to guide his personality?


Evolution and Expansion of Consciousness is Essential for Everyone

As we are surrounded by many people in power who are currently not aligned, it is more important than ever before to come together and expand our personal vision and evolve spiritually.

When we create harmony within us and embody love, healing and abundance, our external universe reflects our inner transformation and life becomes magical. When you know your true self, you can shine your divine light. Your ego aligns with your soul. You create what you desire more easily.

Let us all have the audacity to dream bigger for our future.


Here are some action steps to manifest your ideal reality:

  • Write down your global vision
  • Each day, spend 10 minutes focusing on your vision. Imagine your perfect world – visualize it, feel it and notice it with all of your senses.

Going the Course

Don’t know why I waited ’til now to take the plunge. It’s literally been only a couple weeks since I’ve begun to devour The Disappearance of the Universe, by Gary Renard. Now I’m on a mission to absorb the best of what the Course in Miracles has to offer.

Published a couple years before I left the convent, I certainly wasn’t ready for it back then. To me, it reeked of Christianity, with which I felt force-fed up to my gills throughout the nineteen years of my nunly life. Not for me, I told myself, and promptly set off in what I thought was the opposite direction–an escape into alternative spirituality.

After having sampled a morsel of Zen Buddhism and whopping dose of Pentecostalism while still a nun, I delved into Paganism, Shamanism, Divination, and various other worlds of metaphysical and bodymind therapies. Each of which, I now realize, merely nudged me a little closer to, or dropped me off at the corner of What’s Next and a Course in Miracles. 

Each of my spiritual escapades have helped me reach the following conclusions:

  • There are no accidents.
  • Whatever or whomever I set out to judge as other, is none but myself. Everyone is simply a mirror of what I refuse to acknowledge or accept in myself.
  • The love and acceptance I seek elsewhere, can only originate or be found in myself. A humbling, yet liberating conclusion.
  • And more. . .

So methinks I may possibly find the pathway of a Course in Miracles more than a teensy bit familiar.

“The first step in forgiveness is to forgive any unwillingness to forgive, to kindly look upon all unkindness, to look without judgment upon all our judging. . . with love’s kind eyes.”  N. Babbitt